I haven’t given an update on life in Austin lately (and let’s face it, they are easily the most exciting posts I write… ha!), so here goes. Considering the irrelevance of such banter, I’ll likely refrain from any raging rants against religious people. Sorry to disappoint.
Last time I wrote about life in Texas, I probably talked about school. I was about to pursue my Master’s degree in Literature. I was excited by such endeavors. I was on the road to becoming a scholar. Well that’s all changed. I’ve decided to discontinue my current pursuit for my MA. It isn’t the institution that I disliked, though I admit it didn’t have the “serious” academic feel that I think I would prefer when pursuing a graduate degree. Walking around the quad made me feel like I should have been attending the Friday night frat parties. In the school’s defense, it was clear to me before I began that it was a bit of a party school – and much more populated with undergrad than with grad (but that’s common). So, no. It wasn’t the institution. It was me and a little bit of the program. I was only taking one graduate level English class. Just one. Three credits. I was slacking like crazy; I wasn’t doing the reading (I despised the book), and I cared very little about the minimal effort I put into the first paper. It occurred to me, late as it was, that I wasn’t ready for graduate school, at least not for the one I was in.
Before graduating undergrad, I was advised that it can be a very good idea to take a break from college before beginning a graduate degree. The reasoning behind such advise was along the lines of “you’ve been in school for a long time and the only world you know is the academic one – it may be of value to you to experience the non-academic real world,” and “graduate school is a huge commitment - taking time to prepare and plan for it before you begin to accrue more loans is worthwhile,” and “you might just need a break from homework and papers – make some money and have fun.”
Yes, well perhaps it’s because this advice came from mentors with PhDs and MAs who spoke from experience, but it occurred to me before midterm in my first semester of graduate work that the advice was sound. I have been in school for a long time (since Kindergarten for those counting, though tracing letters on walls is nothing next to reading a manuscript from the 1600s), and school is all I know (aside from meager retail and food services jobs). And alright, say I do begin to accrue more loan money and get my degree. Then what? I have the idea that I want to teach at the college level. With an MA I could start in a community college, but in a community college as an English professor I’d be teaching grammar and composition (shit they should be learning in highschool) not literature and the field of literary studies. In order to teach the classes I think I’d enjoy teaching (classes on environmental literature, nature writing, post-apocalyptic literature, science literature, science fiction and fantasy, etc.), I would need my PhD. And THAT is a commitment far beyond an MA. I’d basically be kissing my life goodbye for the next several years. If I’m going to do that, I want to know what I’m doing it for. And finally, yes. I just want a damn break. Life as an undergraduate student was freaking awesome. I had the greatest time of my life and made the best friends that I could ever hope to make during undergrad. But I put those 5 years in and I’ve finished them very successfully. Is it bad to not want to have to work on 5 papers simultaneously while reading three novels AND working to pay bills? As far as I am concerned, no. I want a break. I’m taking a break.
And so in postponing my pursuit of an MA, I’m taking some time to figure out what it is I want to do, what exactly I want to commit myself to. When I’m ready to put my heart into my goals, I’ll do so. But that time isn’t right now. In the mean time, I’m enjoying life. I’m reading more, I’m writing again, I enjoy my job (currently a temp position, but they have hinted at permanent employment!), and I feel better than I’ve felt in a long time.
But it wasn’t like this a few weeks back. During that time that I was struggling in school and contemplating the decisions I had made, I was not short on stress. I didn’t like feeling like I had no idea what I was doing. I spent five years in college so I could especially avoid that feeling. I wondered if I made a mistake in undergrad. Was English really the best thing to study? Should I have thought about why all of those people would say “English? What are you going to do with that?!” whenever I would tell them what I studied? And there I was, lost (metaphorically speaking) and confused in a new city. Which got me to thinking… why was I in Austin? I felt like utter shit, and most of the people who could have made me feel better were up in NY. I began to feel like I might have made some poorly thought out decisions. I thought I wanted to go straight into grad school (something I clearly didn’t think enough about) and so I moved half way across (or, vertically speaking, all the way across) the country to enroll. Yikes. So what’s made it all better?
For starters, I dropped the graduate class so I no longer have that stupid book to worry about reading. I also got a new job (really hated my first job) which I love. I make decent money and I’ve even been told that my degree in English comes in handy for the responsibilities I am taking on. It’s quite amazing how much better that made me feel about my degree. Furthermore, without the haze of stress and overbearing feeling of wandering society with no direction, I was able to see Austin for what the kind of city it really is.
Austin is, first and foremost, one of the most inspiring places on earth – and coming from a small town in NY, I am justifiably entitled to make that claim. The majority of people down here are healthy. They care about their fitness and wellbeing. When I moved here I cared about those things too – but I had little motivation to really care. Austin is changing that. Seeing so many people bike to work, run before or after dinner, seeing the streets fill up (really fill up! 23,000 people ran the Capitol 10K this year!!) for annual charity runs, and having people cheer you on and smile at you as you work hard – it’s all really great. As a result, I’m currently training for a half marathon. I don’t know when or where I’ll run it, but in 10 weeks or less, I’ll be able to run 13 miles. When I moved here I couldn’t do 1 without stopping. Now I’m able to do about 7. It feels great. I don’t care to compete with others; competing with myself is enough. I run at least 4 times a week and I carry my phone (with a gps receiver) on every run. My fitness application records my distance, speed, time, pace, and it maps my work out. Watching my distance and speed increase while my time decreases is more motivating than I imagined. It’s actual and recorded progress that is really driving me to push harder and faster. I love it. And on top of the running, I’m biking whenever I can (doing a thirty mile ride next weekend!) and learning how to swim the right way – which is really learning how to freaking breathe in the water. Two weeks after the 30 mile bike ride I’m doing another 10k; in June I’m doing my first triathlon; in September I’m doing my second triathlon; and I’ll likely add on to that list as I find more events to register to. Bring it on, Austin.
Aside from the awesome fitness level of the city, Austin is just a cool freaking town. Its motto is “Keep Austin Weird.” The folks here are great, weird only in that the majority of the population is liberal (not common in Texas!). Despite the size of the city, there seems to be community like you’d find in the smallest of towns across America. There’s opportunity here. I’ve had two jobs and several interviews in the near six months I’ve been here. After graduating, in NY, I didn’t get a single callback from any of the applications I submitted to any job – And I applied to twice as many as I have down here. There are parks all over the place (though the hiking is pretty crappy when compared to NY) in which to hike, bike, run, etc. Downtown Austin is fun and exciting – live music every night in hundreds of venues and plenty else to do no matter what your interest. The weather is awesome this time of year. Most of the bars have outdoor patios so you’re able to sit outside in the cool 70 degree night, sipping on a cold Shiner Bock (Texan beer) and relax. Austin really is just a cool place to be.
There is, however, something that Austin lacks – my friends in family in NY. For how much those folks mean to me, it’s a fairly large hole right in the middle of all that I love about Austin. But my family here makes it easier – I spent 24 years living far away from them, so now the time that I’m able to spend with them is invaluable. Still, if it were my call to make, there would be no great distance between the place I call home and those I love.
Until next time.
